Genuine Connection: The Surprising Truth Behind Authenticity
Culturally, we’ve been taught connection is completely random. Or worse, that it is contrived and created in order to secure a specific result. A relationship, a business deal, and even happy, engaged children. It can all be had if you just know the secret sauce.
As a child of the 70’s I was certainly raised that way. And as a burgeoning entrepreneur in the 90’s, I was deeply affected by my teachers, counselors, parents and friends who all gave me endless speeches on how ‘get’ that trophy.
I think I became pretty good at it , at least it appeared I was. I always got the job, the boyfriend, the place in a family that I thought admired and loved me.
Once I got married and had children, I shifted in some way. I instinctively knew what was worth building and nurturing in my young family, and I knew profoundly what was not. I just couldn’t be fake. I couldn’t rely on a technique to feel I achieved something. A toxic marriage wasn’t something I could tolerate. Friends based on outside approval. I became deeply devoted to raising my girls in a way that was innovative, heart-centered and bucked the established norms, and several experts I respected, on a daily basis.
I soon realized any connection worth having absolutely must be genuine. It couldnt be based on fun, chemistry, common goals and beliefs, or any of the societal expectations we were taught.
True connection, I discovered, is based on emotion. The instant and undeniable few seconds where we feel something based on what we heard, experienced and saw. A soundtrack that makes a movie stir our soul, the colors used in a work of art or in nature, or a collage of language that resonates when we hear someone speak.
This can happen on the world’s largest stage or it can happen between two people. Between parent and child. Couples. Friends. In some cases it won’t happen at all. Not everyone reacts the same way to Monet, or Streisand, or Tony Robbins. That may or may not be your goal, as their emotional impression is unmistakable.
The magic lies in creating your own authentic emotional impression to carry with you in life. Personally or professionally, it’s authentic. It won’t change. People trust you because you have complete certainty in your emotional impression. There’s an intelligence in it because you know it’s genuine. It doesn’t require intelligence to create emotion that follows a trend.
The intelligence of genuine emotion is aligned with a reaction that confirms its authenticity. It’s intelligence is not about the goal. It just IS. It’s like breathing. It’s autonomic. We all possess the capacity. The goal is just the simplicity of genuine connection.
The secret isn’t in how. It’s in where authenticity lies. Our identity and our core understanding of who we truly are vs who we try to be. That’s the secret. If genuine connection is your goal, there’s no shortcut. Understood your emotions. Your Impression EQ will naturally flow. You’ll live in a world filled with trust. For yourself and with those who surround you. Peace will be consistent, as your focus is now on being the truth vs the securing a goal.
© Copyright Anne Leedom
Anne Leedom is the Founder of EmotePR.com, a premier branding, media positioning and consulting agency based in California. Her unique strategies for Emote Branding Design™ have helped thousands of individuals and companies build powerful relationships and impact millions of lives. For more information visit www.emotepr.com.
